32 weeks! It's getting closer!
Here is my novel for the week...
Week 32 has been a fun and eventful week.
I celebrated my Golden Birthday (25 on the 25th!)
and Devry was home!
We had a great week together. He spoiled me on Thursday to celebrate. (I had to work all weekend, so we decided to celebrate early). He took me to the Olive Garden for dinner, we did some shopping, and he bought me a new computer!! I LOVE my MacBook Pro! He is such an amazing guy! After working Friday night, I slept most of my actual birthday. Then went and got a pedicure and we went out to Gator Jacks for dinner before I headed to work. He brought me a blizzard at work. Then on Sunday we had cake and ice cream with some of his family. It was so great to have him home. I was bummed I had to work. I tried and tried to trade it, but couldn't. I requested call, hoping to be home anyways, but it was a crazy busy weekend and definitely was not going to happen. I am glad we celebrated Thursday!
At 32 weeks, I am definitely feeling very pregnant.
Work is getting really hard. This weekend was horrible. We were so busy, and short staffed. We all ran our butts off just to take care of the patients we had. Friday night I started contracting about halfway through the night. By morning they were about every 5-10 minutes, hard, and painful. I came home and tossed and turned, and couldn't sleep through them. Finally they quieted down a bit and I slept off and on. I headed back to work Saturday for an even busier night. I started contracting again, and by morning I was so swollen and sore. I hate to complain, and I hate to feel like a wuss. I worked my butt off to pull my weight for those crazy nights, but man it was hard! Sunday I called to see if there was any way for me to be on call. I was dead. Unfortunately we were already short staffed for the night, so there was no way. I went last night, and luckily it wasn't as crazy. We had 6 triage patients (5 we sent home) and one labor patient who was admitted. There was two of us, so we shared the work and it was an ok night workload wise. Even though the night was much better, I still became so swollen so quickly, and today I am really feeling the effects of 3 busy nights.
I am not sure what to do about work. I can begin my maternity leave early if I want, but that means I have to go back early. If I started my maternity next week for example, and still didn't have the twins for 5 more weeks, I would only have 7 weeks home with them after they are born. I was really hoping to work until I have them, but I just don't know if I can. I don't want to put my babies at risk to take care of other people and their babies. I am hoping the next few shifts are less busy, and we are well staffed. Maybe just some "normal" shifts won't be so hard and I can tough it out for at least a few more weeks. I have a Dr's appointment on Thursday and I'll chat with my Dr about it and see what he thinks is best. The weekend was also so difficult because I had to say good bye to Devry again yesterday. It is getting harder to see him go. Especially after working 2 extremely hard shifts and being slept deprived and emotional. I had a really hard time coping with him leaving this time.
When I'm not working, or recovering from work, my pregnancy really is very bearable. Definitely harder then with just one, but I still feel pretty good! It's getting harder to get down and play with Payton on the floor, or even just getting up from the couch. Breathing is getting more difficult. I get out of breath very easily, and sometimes have to try to catch my breath after simple tasks like walking up stairs, or lifting something. These babies are putting so much pressure on my lungs!
My reflux has gotten bad, but medicine makes it bearable.
Swelling. ugh. Working where I do, I see all types of pregnant women. I really hate (and by hate, I really mean i'm just extremely jealous of them) the ones who walk in , 40 weeks pregnant with a perfect little basketball belly tucked under their shirt. No stretch marks. No swollen ankles or hands. Only gained 20 lbs with their pregnancy.. It makes me sick. I am so not that, and I wish I was.
I swell. Bad. I retain water, which causes a lot of weight gain really quickly.
My feet swell to the point of looking like elephant legs.
My hands swell.
My face swells.
My arms swell.
I just puff up like a big giant balloon.
at 24 weeks, I had gained like 6 lbs total.
Then between 24 and 28 weeks, I started to swell. My feet would swell when I worked, or was on them for long days. I couldn't wear my wedding rings anymore. The swelling would come and go. By my 28 week appointment, my weight gain jumped to 18 lbs. I gained 12 lbs in 4 weeks. UGH! My Dr is so unbelievably kind! Some Dr's would tell their patient that is way too much weight gain (cuz it is really). But not mine. Mine reassured me that the majority of the weight gain was water weight from swelling. Probably 10 lbs of it. He said he wants to begin watching my blood pressure closely, since swelling is often an effect of pre-eclampsia. Luckily no problems yet.
Since then, I have swollen even more. My hands never go down anymore. My face is really puffy. My ankles are about double in size right now. I am still hoping that maybe they will go down some in the next few days, but who knows. The cankles may be here to stay.
Why can't I be a cute, unswollen pregnant person? Its just so frustrating that there really is nothing I can do about it. I eat healthy, I am an active person.
At least it will go down a few weeks after they are born.
I am hating pictures of me right now. I feel huge, swollen and fat. But I told myself I would continue to take pictures of my growing belly. They may be coming fewer and farther between, but I still will post them. Here is my 32 week picture (I'm 32 weeks and 3 days).
I am slowly getting ready for these little guys!
My AWESOME friend Hattie threw me a baby shower last week! I received so many wonderful gifts! She did a fantastic job. It was a open house type baby shower, and some of my wonderful friends and family came and showed me so much love and support. We had delicious fruit and dip, crackers and dip and veggies and dip. Hattie is a week behind me, pregnant with her 2nd girl, and she put so much work into throwing me a baby shower! What an amazing friend! I'm so lucky to have so much love and support here!
I spent a lot of the week going through baby things. Clothes, toys, bottles, blankets, burp clothes. I evaluated everything to decide if I still needed to buy anything. I am so glad that I have almost everything. I bought a few more newborn clothes this week. Payton was too big for newborn clothes, so besides to 2 or 3 outfits I had that he never fit into, I don't have any newborn clothes. I received a few sleepers, and cute outfits. I did need more though, so I got on and found some great deals online. I can't wait for those tiny little clothes to get here! I can't believe I will have babies small enough to fit into them! Other then a few nb clothes, most of the little stuff is ready! We have a few big purchases we need to make. A rocking chair is the top of the list. I think I will buy it this week. I have a great glider picked out, that is designed with a taller back. it glides, reclines and is so comfy. It is big enough I can nurse both babies in it. I am excited to order and receive that. I will need it right away so that is priority #1. Next is a double stroller. I have looked and looked to decide what I want. I decided on a Bob revolution duallie. It is an amazing jogging stroller, that is like pushing nothing! They are pricy, but so worth it! I will get years and years of use out of it! I don't expect to be going many places when the twins are first born, so I don't really think I need the stroller right away. We will probably buy it in a few weeks, or maybe even after they arrive. Then the 3rd big item is a crib. We have one, and will need a 2nd eventually. They will be in the pack n play in my room for a few months, then we will move them to their room, but in the same crib for a few more months. When they get a little bigger and start rolling and moving a lot, they will need their own cribs though. We aren't completely sure what we will do. We might borrow a 2nd crib, or we might buy one. We'll see. Other then those 3 things, we are pretty much set! People have been so generous to give us baby items and clothes. We haven't really had to buy very much, which has been amazing!
I have lots of projects I am still working on. I am glad to have them. I need things to keep me busy and help pass the time, especially when Devry is gone. I am not overly anxious for them to arrive because I know I need to get my huge list of stuff done first.
less than 6 more weeks...at the most! April 6th I will be 38 weeks. If I haven't had them by then, I will be induced. 38 weeks is the recommended time for induction of twins. My Dr. is especially for this because of the size of Payton. At 39 weeks he was 9 lbs, 2 oz. At 38 weeks, I could have two 8 lb babies! No thanks.
I have started getting a bit nervous about having them. For multiple reasons.
When I first found out there were twins, I kind of hoped that Baby A would be breech. That way, I would automatically have to have a c-section and never make the decision. That hasn't happened. He is head down, and SO low. Then Baby B is also head down, and right next to him. Chances are everything will go so smoothly. One will deliver, then the next, and there will be no problems. BUT. I am a labor nurse. I see crap happen all the time. I know things can happen, like delivering the first, then having to have a c-section for the 2nd. it scares me and has made me almost decide to just have an elective c-section. But my Dr. is so positive everything with go smooth, and really chances are it will! I am trying to not think about all the complications and problems. I am trying to be positive and think about how easy it will be and how smoothly it will go.
I am nervous about Devry not making it. If I go into labor on my own while he is in Wyoming, chances are he won't make it. My labor with Payton (and I was induced) was 7.5 hours. I had my water broke a little after 8 am, when I was 2.5 cm. By noon I was 10 cm. I "labored down" for an hour, then pushed for almost 3 hours, and he was born before 4pm. This time....I will not have to push for 3 hours. Maybe 30 minutes, if that...they will be smaller, and so I may only push a couple times for each of them. Right there is cutting of 2.5ish hours! Then, my actual labor could be quicker. What if its only 2 or 3 hours? He definitely won't make it. Especially because I won't tell him to come until I know for sure and am being admitted to the hospital (which could be several hours into my labor). My biggest hope is that he comes home for his scheduled week off the first week of April. I will be 37 weeks and 3 days when he gets home. I would love it if I went into labor on my own at about 37 weeks and 4 or 5 days. Enough time for him to get home and settled, and help me get some last minute things ready. So everyone hope and pray for that for us :)
I am nervous about recovery. Like I said, I had a 9lb, 2 oz baby the first time. I pushed for 3 hours. I tore. bad. Really bad. Tears are determined on a degree scale ranging from a 1st degree to a 4th degree. If you want to know what each degree means, google it. the majority of first time moms have about a 2nd degree tear. I had a 4th degree. The worst you can have. My Dr. spent over an hour stitching me, and said multiple times how he put more stitches in me then a c-section. At work, we often refer to a 4th degree tear as a "vaginal c-section." Honestly, if I had've known I was going to have such horrible tearing, I would have opted for a c-section. It would have been an easier recovery. It took months to recover. The first 3 weeks were bad. I couldn't sit, stand, walk, move without hurting. I took pain medication around the clock which helped some. Luckily I healed quite quickly for how bad it was, and by about 3 months I felt back to normal. Some people with 4th degrees hurt for way longer then that, so I was lucky!
I know the chances of having 4th degree again are slim to none. I chose to go to a different Dr. this time who does things differently. I don't worry about it with him as much as I would my previous Dr. I just have such horrible memories of my recovery, that I am so nervous for that again. I expressed my concerns to my Dr a few appointments ago. He really is wonderful and assured me he would make sure to do everything he can to avoid it. He said he is hardly worried about it happening since I will be having 2 smaller babies anyways. Hopefully he is right!
I am nervous for May. If I can have them the first week in April, Devry will be home for all of April. Carissa will be here until the 3rd week of April. I will have so much help from them. Then, Carissa will move out, and Devry will leave a week later. I know having Devry home for a month will be wonderful, but will make it SO hard to see him go. I know Payton's world will be turned upside down with 2 new babies, but I feel good that Devry will be here to help him adjust and give him some extra attention. But then how will Payton react when Devry leaves? It will be hard. I have been offered so much help, and I am sure I will take people up on it. I know Devry's mom will be the biggest help, and other friends and family members. I am so grateful for so many kind and considerate people who show us so much love. I know I will make it through it! I know i will get the help I need. But I will miss Devry. Payton will miss Devry. It will be hard to have him gone most of that month.
I am nervous about having two newborns! Payton was an angel newborn. He came home from the hospital, slept 8 hours the first night home and really never slept much less then that at night. He would wake up once to eat, around 4 am. Eat in 10 minutes, get changed, swaddled, and go right back to sleep for 4-5 more hours. The only problem we had was his reflux, which was so much better when we got him on some medication. After 2.5 months of waking up once a night to eat, he would still wake up, but not eat much. He was doing it more out of habit then the need for food. So we let him cry it out. It took 3 nights, and he started sleeping 12 hours a night. And as slept 12 hours a night since. He was AMAZING! What are the odds I would ever get a baby like that again? slim. What are the odds I could ever get 2 babies like that again? Pretty much no chance. So I am preparing myself for little or no sleep, crying, colicky babies who always want to be held, in hopes that it will be slightly better then the worst scenario and I can be pleasantly surprised that its better. I hope they are ok. I hope I can get them on the same schedule. I hope we all survive it :)
As nervous as I am about some things. I am getting really excited. Through my crazy hectic weekend at work, I had a few moments, where I saw parents see their baby for the first time, or where a mom holds and kisses her brand new baby, that I stopped and just felt so excited. I get to meet two sweet, adorable little boys. I can't wait to hold them. I can't wait to see if they look alike, or if they look like Payton at all. I can't wait to see if they are born with hair. I can't wait to hold their tiny hands, and kiss their perfect toes. I can't wait to get to know their little personalities, and learn how different they are. I can't wait to see Payton meet his two new little brothers! I can't wait to see Devry hold them! I just can't wait for it all! It will be hard. Probably one of the hardest things I will ever do. But it will be fun, exciting, and wonderful too.









