21 weeks feels great!
Last Monday, at 20 weeks, I had another visit with my MFM Dr. in Utah. I had another very thorough ultrasound. They checked out the blood clot, and all of baby's anatomy. She looks healthy and is growing well (something they will watch very closely since there is a large chance of her growth being restricted from the complications I have had). The Dr. came in and showed us the blood clot again. He said because of the position of it, it is hard to accurately measure it, but it doesn't look any bigger. Even better, all of the blood looks "old" so there is no active bleeding. Since things hadn't worsened, my cramping was minimal and baby was growing good he allowed me to be off strict bed rest. I am still restricted in activity (no lifting, exercise, overdoing it at all, etc), but I can be up with frequent resting. This was wonderful news. I was going crazy being stuck in bed or on the couch so being allowed to be up and semi-productive is a huge improvement. He was very thorough in explaining everything and answering all of our questions. I have 2 wonderful Dr.'s who both never rush through my appts, and take the time to address every concern I have. They answer my questions and discuss the situation with me as though it is the only thing on their mind, and they have all the time in the world to focus on me. I knew my OB/GYN would be that way since I've worked with him, but I was lucky to choose a MFM who has a similar bedside manner. As long
as things stay the way they are, he will see me again at 28 weeks in Salt Lake, and I will see my OB every 2 weeks here in Wyoming. I was told I couldn't work and I still need to listen very closely to my body to know what is overdoing it. Here is a picture of me at 20 weeks and 5 days and one of little miss at 20 weeks on the ultrasound.
Physically I am feeling fantastic. I do not have the terrible constant back pain I had with my other 2 pregnancies, I have a decent amount of energy, no more nausea, nothing more then very minor aches and pains that come with growing a human. So far this has physically been easier for me then either of my other pregnancies. I cramp if I overdo it, but resting helps so I am trying to still take it easy.
Emotionally I will admit I am struggling a bit. Before these complications arose, I had a contract for an 8 week travel nursing assignment in Jackson. This would allow Devry to be off for his wrist surgery without financial strain on our family. Of course with the complications, I had to cancel that contract. Devry still needed his surgery so we went ahead with it. He was off for 3 weeks, and despite his wrist still being sore, he went back to work last week since financially we couldn't afford him to take any more time off. Cohen ended up with a very sudden and unexpected case of pneumonia that put him in the hospital for a day. In the last week I have received thousands of dollars in medical bills from my appts, lab work, ultrasounds, Devry's surgery and more will be coming from Cohen's hospital stay. This is just the start and we have burned through a large chunk of our savings to pay medical bill after medical bill as well as make ends meet for our monthly bills with Devry's decreased income. Devry is back to work, with a sore wrist and picking up every shift of overtime he can find to try to get us back on track. I am discouraged. I feel awful not being able to work and help out financially. I feel bad encouraging him to stay late at work, or go in at 4am or even midnight to try to catch us up because I know he will be hurting. I am grateful we chose to save the majority of what I made last year doing travel nursing. This has allowed us to pay for everything we need without any debt. I am grateful for that. But it is still hard to see that money go, when I was supposed to be working right now to prevent that from happening. Having him gone working so much is hard. It is hard for him (although he won't admit it), it is hard for the kids, and it is hard for me. Days he works long hours is emotionally exhausting for me since the kids miss him (and have gotten used to having him home all day everyday), and I have to take care of all of their needs. "Taking it easy" is challenging with three little people needing your constant help and attention. They have done well and are learning independence in a lot things.
Through all of this I have had a hard time not becoming frustrated with the fact that I have zero paid maternity leave, medical leave, sick leave, paid time off or any other benefits that could help us during this time. My only option was to cancel my travel contract, quit my hospital job and loose all of my income for almost my entire pregnancy (longer since I will stay home after I have her for at least a few months). It is discouraging and frustrating when we have always worked so hard. The one time I have to be off work for medical reasons we have no option but going without my pay, while adding thousands in medical bills at the same time. It is just so different then the way it is in Canada and what I was raised with so I am having a bit of a hard time wrapping my head around the lack of benefits here for hardworking families that face a time of need. (In Canada, I could receive 17 weeks of paid employment insurance for pregnancy complications as well as the normal 52 weeks of paid maternity leave). I'm just not even going to open the soap box of those abusing government aid here and never working for a thing they get while hardworking people are forced to struggle.
Yes I am ranting. It's my blog. I'm allowed.
I am trying to stay positive. We are very blessed for Devry to have such a great job that he is able to work so much overtime. We are grateful for the money I was able to make and save doing travel nursing. We are very glad we ignored the seemingly logical decision to pay off a car, buy food storage or other great options with the money I made last year. Although we didn't know why, we felt like we needed to leave it in savings for the time being. A lot of the medical bills we've received offer a 10-20% discount for paying in full when it is first billed. Having that money in savings has allowed us to pay in full and save 10-20% on many of the bills we have had. Without that option we would not only be paying the bill in full, but also have interest added if we had to make monthly payments. I am so grateful to be feeling so great despite having to stay "down" for a month. Although I am frustrated with the situation, I am grateful that even though it will be tight I CAN be off work right now. Devry works so hard for us and I know he will work every second he can to make everything up we have lost. It is stressful, but we are both willing to do anything for the health and safety of this baby. I am incredibly grateful for an amazing husband who gets up at 3 am, works 16 hours, then comes home to help with kids, clean the house, and comfort an exhausted and emotional pregnant wife.
I am so lucky to have him. Men like him are unusual. He spent 4 weeks taking care of EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding. Laundry, dishes, baths, meals, cleaning, cooking, disciplining, playing, yard work, house work, emotional breakdowns, bad dreams, middle of the night meltdowns, sick and cranky kiddos, EVERYTHING. If I lifted a finger to do something he was right there to take it right out of my hands and send me back to the couch or bed. He never complained. Not a single time. He willingly took on both of our roles in the house (and I think he probably did a better job then I do). Oh and did I mention for 3 weeks of it he was recovering from surgery? He is incredible. My mom came to be here for his initial surgery recovery to help, which was great! But it didn't really stop him much. We were in idaho for a week and had some help when Grandma and Grandpa weren't working or aunts and uncles were there, but he still took care of almost everything. He stayed awake all night at the hospital because Cohen wouldn't let anyone but him hold him when he was sick. Cohen wouldn't keep oxygen on, but needed it, so Devry would wait until he was asleep and stay awake to hold it close to his face. Despite the lack of sleep he spent the next day comforting Cohen, and playing with the other boys when we were discharged from the hospital. He has the best attitude and is so willing to do everything and anything without ANY complaining. He takes very little time for himself, won't spend a cent on himself, sacrifices everything for us. I do not know what I would do without him. He is the most selfless person I know. He amazes me.
I haven't really mentioned the fact that I am beyond thrilled to be having a little girl! Boys are fun, don't get me wrong, but after 3 of them a little girl is so exciting! I had an OB appt on Friday and we took the boys to it. They were excited to see her on the ultrasound machine, and my Dr printed them each a picture of her to keep. They constantly talk to, sing to, talk about, and pray for their baby sister. It is so sweet! We look forward to meeting this little miss, and are hoping and praying for her safe (preferably full term) arrival!
